


this could be us.

by ikhannnnnt



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fucking, Infidelity, Oops, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:24:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikhannnnnt/pseuds/ikhannnnnt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ummmm, just two people fucking. no, it's really more than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. he's more myself than i am.

**Author's Note:**

> i decided to leave the characters nameless because i was inspired by multiple people and some aspects in my own personal life. i'm leaving this work open to interpretation.
> 
> also, i truly don't condone infidelity.  
> this is fiction.

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

Bronte, Wuthering Heights

i tell myself you don't mean a thing  
and what we've got, got no hold on me  
but when you're not there, i just crumble

she went home with him that evening, something they had never dared to do all the other times before when the same opportunity had arisen. maybe it was in the heat of the dying days of summer with the burnished orange sunset of this evening that urged them in an unspoken manner to finally take their chances and leave together. 

over the months, they had taken familiarity with one another- finding common interests and an ease in their company. it wasn't merely that he was handsome, tall and with the darkest hue of blue for eyes, that had her immediately drawn to him. no, he was effortless to talk to, to be around, to simply be with. he was someone who made her smile, made her laugh, feel acknowledged and appreciated. above all, he had sparked within her something she had not experienced in quite too long a time - the feeling of an undeniable attraction. 

sure, she had received attention often, but it had never been the reciprocal kind. she was well aware that she was choosy when it came to the opposite sex, but in the most humble way, she simply did not want to settle. single life had afforded her much happiness as an independent woman finding her way in the world. everything was fine, and for awhile there, she had been wrapped up in dreams and fantasies in her spare time, creating the perfect man in her mind to half heartedly fill the void of being alone. she remained hopeful, felt that the wait was a gift and something worth waiting for. she was at that age now where she didn't want to be casual in a relationship anymore, she needed substance, she needed meaning.

as is often said about hopes and our most honest wishes, that they will one day happen upon us unexpectedly, he did. certain circumstances had found them in close vicinity of each other throughout their work weeks and when they found some time to be together, they would. in the way you invite someone into your life, each interaction was an unveiling of new pieces to the puzzle, an enjoyable conversation that allowed them to know more, feel move, love more. 

they always say "you will know." some people search a lifetime for love and others just wait, but no matter how you decide to let love in, "you will know", and for as long or short that it may take to come to this realization- that what you feel is truly love, "you will know." so, of course, it was a feeling of exhilaration and fear in realizing what she felt for him. it was the feeling of falling, but more so, it was the feeling of flying and he felt it too. 

i tell myself, i don't care that much  
but i feel like i'm dying till i feel your touch  
only love, only love can hurt like this  
must have been a deadly kiss, only love can hurt like this

essentially, this was an affair.  
it was something neither of them had intended, but it had happened. for awhile, she had continued on as she was accustomed to, admiring him at a relative distance, aware that he was recently married. it was no surprise to her that she would find the most unavailable man to be attracted to, intellectually and physically. and of course it was no surprise that a man like him could remain single for long. luckily, their professional encounters had become somewhat less frequent, yet all the more intense the next time they would meet up. she knew he was throwing signals of deepening interest, but they were both adults, aware of boundaries, but...

one day he finally broke that boundary, closing the space between them as he leaned in and kissed her. they had time and again found a secluded location to meet up at to enjoy each other's company, even for a short amount of time, and chat about the everything and nothing of life. it was occasional, knowing he had obligations in his home and work life and so did she, but soon they found stolen moments to see each other as often as possible. he would throw a look at her across the room and have her up against a wall ten minutes later, drugging her with his kisses. there were plenty of eye fucks in public and quick last kisses in private. he always left her wanting.

she didn't know how to be "the other woman"- he didn't label or treat her as such, but it was troublesome in the beginning. troublesome in knowing they were both inadvertently hurting someone else every time they touched, every time they kissed. it was surreal to be with someone who belonged to another, yet feel that she had a claim of her own on him. herself, she had given over to him completely for the claiming. it became harder to let him go, harder for him to leave and when he finally stayed, taking her to a ritzy hotel downtown where they made love for the first time that night, before he had to get home. nothing from then on was ever hard at all.

say i wouldn't care if you walked away  
but every time you're there, i'm begging you to stay  
and when you come close, i just tremble  
and every time, every time you go  
its like a knife that cuts right through my soul

they became adventurous, seeking each other out in between breaks in their respective work schedules. they were good at playing the casual friend in a professional setting bit, always exchanging pleasantries on the way to the lift or stepping out together for a friendly lunch. outwardly, their public interaction did not translate anything out of the ordinary to be suspicious about, but internally, they were an inferno with their knowing glances to each other - of things they had just done or were about to do. 

now, she would blush at the sight of his hands, knowing the feel of his fingers inside her, the way he always made her lick them after he fucked her with them. he would say "you drive me crazy, baby. you drive me wild", and she would die over and over again. but truly, it wasn't just about the fucking, it was so much more. 

with him, she felt adored, significant, inspired. he felt invigorated, renewed, reverently loved.


	2. love me harder

so tonight, nearing the end of their day, he had said "come home with me." his wife was out of town, obviously. some work obligation she had of her own. 

the thought of entering their home was troublesome to her. she feared that she would be all too reminded of their married life together, separate from what she and him shared privately. she predicted a feeling of false welcome and shame going to his house, seeing belongings that were not hers, envisioning how they should be. it was a dangerous thing they were doing, dangerous thing he was implying, but one look at him, those blue stormy eyes and she knew where she would sleep tonight.

he gave her his car keys, which she walked to alone, nonchalantly unlocking and getting into the passenger seat to wait for him. his car was flashy, spoke of his status, she found that somewhat endearing because he wasn't truly a flashy guy. oftentimes he exuded a laid back confidence, but never openly asserted his demands as a man from a privileged background. he wasn't "that guy" and she found, rather quickly, how strongly he desired to be regarded as an equal and not as a superior. she smiled, reflecting on how remarkably gentle and shy, how completely humble he was in the face of so much entitlement. i really love him, she thought, watching him from the car's side view mirror as he exited the building, walking towards her in long, assured strides. 

she had already started the car by the time he opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. they had never actually shared a ride together, so the laughs started quickly enough as he pulled out onto the road and she playfully interrogated him on the music stations he had programmed as favorites. " a classical station? goodness, your high class is showing sir!" she teased. "shut up, you", he replied, silencing her laughter with an arduous kiss when they stopped at a red light. breaking out of the city traffic, music on low, they headed towards his place on the outskirts of town whilst talking about their day. it was a comforting ride, which he made possible by keeping the conversation light, making her laugh. when he reached over grabbing her hand, intertwining their fingers to hold and rest on her thigh for the remainder of the ride, they eased into a luxurious silence and she wished it could always be like this. 

 

his house was impressively secluded, all grandeur and stunning views. he opened her car door and led her to the house's front entrance. he swiftly unlocked the door and it was beautiful. she told him that, standing in the doorway, still hesitant about being there. "you're beautiful", he replied, touching her cheek in reassurance and feeling the heat of her skin. it concerned him that she was hesitant, though he could understand why, and still, the overwhelming desire in him to bring her home could not be ignored. he had long envisioned surrounding her with his love, with his body in the very place he felt most himself. he wanted to share the absolute depth of himself with her where they could both feel safe. it was something of greed, yet something of pure wonder that he wanted to experience with her. this was his home.

in some far off corner of his mind, he knew how fucked up that was, they both knew. as the months continued on, their relationship evolving, there were so many times that he should have stopped, made her walk away, but he had not. they had became something of a safe haven for one another. although regretful of the infidelity, he did not deny his feelings for her. he knew it wasn't right, but with her, everything felt so right. he felt right and he needed her to know just how much was because of her.

"i want you to be here. do you want to be here?" he asked her, brushing her hair behind her shoulder.

"i want to be with you" she told him, feeling tingles where his fingertips had touched her skin. 

with his hand at the small of her back, they walked in. he turned on the lights to reveal a beautiful space of neutral tones. there was a staircase and elegant dark floors, doors leading into other rooms, a beautiful light fixture and then his lips on hers. his kiss was gentle, soothing. she realized she needed more. fuck the decor, "where is the bedroom?" she asked breathlessly against his lips. he was taken aback, already sensing the urgency in her inquiry, thus diminishing his plans to take it slow tonight. not that he was disappointed, but in retrospect, they had never properly been afforded the luxury of time to openly revel in each other's company. 

almost instantaneously, he was heated and hardening. this was sex and there would be more, so if this was what she needed - to confront the place where he slept at night beside another woman, then he would take her there. just as sure as she would question the magnitude of their love, he would lay her down and prove it to them both. he would do it right, do it his way before the night was over, but if this was what she needed now to reaffirm her ties to him, he would let her. 

the bedroom, as well, was spacious and inviting, overlooking sprawling land thru a wall of glass. it was in the amber hued shadows of sunset that she stood before him. 

"i want us to make love", she told him as she unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it out of his dress trousers, helping him out of it. "we're going to make love here", she murmured against his skin while undoing his belt. he grabbed her face, kissing her hard as he felt her hands undo the zip. he groaned in her mouth when she took him in her hand, stroking his length long and slow- the way he liked it. a few moments later, she broke the kiss, pushing him back onto the bed. with his legs sprawled, she kneeled between them, running her nails down his thighs before bending to remove his shoes and socks, which she tossed aside. he reached down, finding the hem of her shirt and pulled it over and off her. she looked up at him inquisitively. "good view?" she asked, still on the floor between his legs. he wrapped her hair around his fist then, gently pulling on it to lift her face as he lowered his to kiss her. "damn good view."

his voice was getting husky, triggering her senses with renewed ardor. she trailed her kiss from his lips to his jawline, steadying her balance with her palms resting on his thighs. she smiled against his skin, biting and placing open mouthed kisses to his neck and throat, feeling his fingers tangle in her hair to hold her there a few moments longer. she reveled in the vibration elicited from his pleasured moans, gratified to be the cause of those sounds before releasing his cock and taking him in her mouth. 

his heart tripped the moment he felt her lips around him, sucking him hard and slow. she had a pretty mouth, perfect lips usually adorned with color; it was one of the first things he had noticed about her. in the beginning, he drove himself half mad with fantasies of their softness, how they would feel crushed against his, nipped at with his teeth. now those lips were his for the taking. he loved her mouth, loved watching it fuck him as he leaned back, arm braced behind him, while his other hand tangled in her hair. 

he was steel in her mouth, salty sweet on her tongue. she didn't want him to come, just wanted him ready. she withdrew him with a final suck, then ran her tongue from the base of his cock to the tip, kissing him there one final time. he groaned, lifting his hips as she pulled his pants off. pushing on his chest, she told him to lie back as she stood before him, removing the rest of her clothes. he looked on in admiration, loving her body, its lines and curves, her statuesque beauty overwhelming him. he reached out his hand, "come here", needing her with him now. she came easily enough, crawling from the edge of the bed to straddle his hips. already wet with desire, she took his cock and lowered herself on him. he steadied her descent, his hands squeezing at her hips before he rose into a sitting position, aligning their bodies in an embrace. she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing at the sun flecks on his skin, feeling him pulsing inside her, unmoving but exquisite. he held her, tracing his fingertips lightly up and down her spine, loving the way her breasts were pressed against his chest a moment longer before pulling back to see her face. 

they both sighed in the contentment of a slow lazy kiss. so this was home, she thought as she started up a slow grind against him, burning with want of him. this could be us, always, she thought as she kissed him, caressing his tongue with hers. with her fingertips at his jaw, the friction building between her legs and his tongue in her mouth, she was alight with passion. he felt it too, from her tight squeeze around him to his love bitten lips, he was afire. in time, he laid fully back down, and with wandering hands he caressed her body. he stroked her clit with his thumb, enamored at the sight of their bodies adjoined as she hovered over him, fucking him at a new angle. his hands were everywhere.

she rode him with fervor as the remnants of the setting sun gave way to dusk, casting their silhouettes against the opposite wall. she came twice on him, her body wracking with shudders as she braced her hands against his chest, riding her waves out slowly with a controlled scream before lowering herself to kiss him. with lips locked and her long hair falling forward to veil their faces, he holds her to him, bucking his hips up a few more strokes before he releases. smiling against his lips, she catches his breathless moans in her mouth as he fills her. "you make the most beautiful sound", she tells him, caressing his face lovingly. he blows out a deep breath, smiling at her as he wraps her in his arms to keep her close with their bodies still joined. she fully collapses on him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

in that moment of time, it occurred to her that it didn't matter where she was with him. she needed them to just be. the realization was no big surprise truly, she mused at length, lying with him now in the dark quiet of the room. of course, they had broken a barrier and it had mattered, but it had also occurred to them both that no matter where they went, there they were. in the here and now, it was important to simply be together, in any capacity, and when he told her that their love could not be defined by words of logic or reason, she knew it to be true. the magnetism of their attraction was inexplicable.


	3. more than words.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh, you're going to want to read on

"when are you going to feed me?" she asked in the shadows of the room as they laid entangled on the bed, heart rates having returned to normal. he chuckled at her statement, kissing her forehead with a "you're too fucking cute" before leaving the bed to turn on a lamp. with the room illuminated in a soft dim glow, she admired his nakedness as he crossed the room to a dresser, pulling some clothes from a drawer. 

when he meets her gaze in the reflection of the dresser mirror, curled on her side watching him in admiration, he smiles at her. "like what you see?" she merely nods, ridiculously smitten by this naked adonis before her. he's fit, his build athletic with beautiful sweeping lines of musculature and veins. in this light, he looks boyish and for some reason that makes her heart skip a beat. he always tells her she's in the sweet spot of her years, the perfect age and she can't help but reciprocate that notion back to him. damn men, they can be so gorgeous. 

she watches him put on some loose lounge pants before he walks back to the foot of the bed. in one swift motion, he grabs her ankles, pulling her with a yelp closer to the foot of the bed where he's standing. she's laughing when he pulls her up into a sitting position before him. her smile matching his own as he leans down, cradling her face. he kisses her mouth, sweet and sure as she roves her fingers over his chest and down his stomach. "go take a shower, babe" he whispers against her lips, "i'm going to make us something to eat." he gives her a set of spare clothes and kisses the tip of her nose before heading out of the room.

practically floating to the shower, she bathes in contentment under the rainfall water fixture. the shower is a euphoric experience as she uses his products, regretfully washing away his kisses and the aftermath of their lovemaking from her body. she tingles at the memory of his mouth and hands on her, touching the skin he had touched, aching for his attentions again. after towel drying her hair, she puts on the clothes, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious at the realization that he has never seen her in such a natural state and this was the ultimate natural state- her, straight out of the shower. 

.....

he was setting glasses on the countertop island when she walked into the kitchen, clad in some black shorts and one of his old college t-shirts. with her hair damp, cheeks slightly flushed and the knowledge that she had nothing on underneath the clothes she was wearing, his clothes, he had half a mind to put her on the counter and have her for dinner. 

he didn't do that, not just yet, anyway, but he did set her up on the marble countertop, telling her how adorable and sexy she was, to which she laughed. he had meant it though and she was quick to recognize his sincerity, appreciation clear in his face. when he looked at her, his face lit up and his laugh was genuine. there it was again, that gentle ease with which they found themselves. that beautiful warm feeling that happens somewhere between playful banter and serious desire. 

"so you're down with a panini, right?"  
"oh master chef, i couldn't possibly think of something i would rather have!"

he loved that damn sarcasm, one of the many little quirks that had endeared her to him. they stayed in the kitchen, eating and laughing with her still atop the kitchen island, legs swinging while he stood against the counter opposite her, entranced by the beauty before him. at one point, she made a case that her food tasted better than his and she thought he ought to know. she beckoned him over for a taste, offering him a bite of her sandwich. he gladly obliged, knowing full well it was just a ploy to get him in her arms.

once there, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her legs around his waist. "thank you for dinner, master chef." smiling at her jibe, he kissed her and lifting her from the counter, he took her to the living room where they sat together on the couch with tangled legs and languid bodies. she lounged into him through a slow make out session, reveling in his warmth. they held each other, with him nuzzling her neck as she traced patterns on his hands. she listened to him tell her about some upcoming projects he was working on and he gave her advice on a career move she was entertaining. around midnight, he took her back to bed, needing to make love to her one last time before the big sleep.

but its the sweetest pain, burning hot through my veins  
love is torture, makes me more sure  
only love can hurt like this. 

.......

there were a lot of things he wanted to say, sitting there on the edge of the bed, looking at her in the soft glow of his bedroom, but she stopped him. 

"don't ruin it", she tells him, climbing on his lap, straddling him once again. his arms automatically going around her, pulling her closer to him as he listens to her say, "we're in dangerous territory right now, but let's not go there tonight."

so he didn't, instead he twisted them so that she was on her back against the sheets, with him between her legs. they kissed, silently agreeing to show each other through actions what they both weren't quite ready to say with words. she buried her fingers in his hair as he trailed kisses along her jawline and neck. she clung to him as his warm hand found her naked breast under her shirt. he squeezed it, teasing a nipple between his fingertips as his tongue traced the shell of her ear. she whimpered at the pleasurable nips he was making on the sensitive skin of her neck with his mouth. she wanted her nipples between his teeth bad, now! 

when she started pressing her chest up to fill his hands with her tits, he knew his attention was needed elsewhere. abandoning her neck, he slid his hands beneath her shirt, momentarily running them lightly over her soft skin before pushing her shirt up to expose her glorious chest. he knew her weakness, how she liked her nipples sucked and love bitten. he obliged her, taking one between his teeth for a pleasure pain tug and then the other, again and again, before beginning his ministrations on the hardening buds with his tongue and lips. every kiss he put on her sent sparks throughout her body, curling her toes with his attentiveness. he was too good and when she felt him press his hand against her sex, feeling her heat, her eyes were seeing stars.

her chest was rising and falling under the onslaught of his attentions. she was so fucking turned on watching him as he began to make his way lower down her body. she quickly removed her shirt and laid back, concentrating on the sensations of his mouth all over her. she knew what was coming, legs trembling and eyes shut, she licked her lips in anticipation as she felt him settle himself between her thighs. there was that sweet kiss he was placing to the inside of her thigh, then he turned his head kissing the other. she expected he might move her shorts to the side, allowing him quick access to her sensitive flesh, knowing how desperately she was needed to be kissed there. to her surprise, he placed a hot open mouthed kiss to her sex through the fabric.

what the fuck, she thought, propping up on an elbow to question this sweet torture. his eyes sparkled in the bedroom light as he looked up at her, smiling, from between her legs. she didn't know what he was about, but then with his middle finger, he hooked it in the waistband of her shorts, dragging the fabric down just enough to reveal her clit to him. she watched, breathless, as he slowly dipped his head, licking her once, then twice before taking her between his lips. she collapsed on her back with an "oh fuck, baby", her hand seeking out his hair, blindly caressing him as he teased her. 

when he stopped again a few moments later, she could have died of frustration. "you're fucking killing me!" she yelled at him when he sat up to pull her shorts completely off her. "baby, you're already dead", he whispered before burying his face in her cunt. she watched him tasting her, enamored at the vision and skill of his tongue. fuck it felt good as she rocked her hips to meet his mouth, pushing and pulling at his hair, steering him right where she needed his tongue and teeth and fingers until she couldn't concentrate anymore. laying back, she closed her eyes, giving herself over to him. she touched her own body, touched the bed, then sought his hand that was gripping her hip. she caressed his fingers, clutched at his hands that were holding her down. she held on tight.

she arched her back and came on his tongue, sweet and hot. after her little death, he lingered there awhile. aware of her heightened sensitivity, he went gentle on her by softly licking and slowly kissing her sweet spot before lightly brushing his lips over her thighs and hips, all the way up to her mouth. she was blissful when he lowered himself on her, tasting herself on his tongue as he slowily entered her. she wrapped her body around him, her hands roaming up and down his back, moving in time to the steady pace he had set. their breaths intermingled, his mouth hardly leaving hers. he fucked her long and hard into the night, skin touching skin, igniting their bodies into a fire of passion. lacing his fingers through hers, he thought to himself - this could be us.

yes, this could be us.


	4. something bigger than us and beyond bliss.

he woke up to the sunshine and feel of her soft hands roaming over his body. he was not typically a morning person, but he found very quickly that he enjoyed an early morning cuddle fuck. they showered together and ate breakfast together. this new morning routine was completely foreign to him, but his spirits felt lifted. he felt alive, even optimistic to start the day. temporarily, his life seemed recreated, running on something more than a pure obligation. he couldn't stop kissing her, reaching out to touch her, needing validity that she was real.

and she was real - real in the way she had kissed him this morning in bed, held him to her while he moved inside her. she was real in the way she kept stealing sips of his coffee as he checked his agenda at the table or how they got ready for work, stealing glances at one another in the mirror, then laughing like kids over it. 

you make me feel alive.  
you make me feel everything.

and he was real - real in the way he moved her to feel things she had not for some time, inspiring her to respond towards him with affection and adoration. he was real in his open display of admiration for her when she stepped out of his closet, having borrowed a shirt for work. he was real in his influence and support of her life, wanting everything for her. wanting the world for her. 

they were real in the way they held hands the whole drive back to the city, mutually feeling as if they had been doing this their entire life. they were real in the way they laughed longer and loved harder when they were together. they were real.

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics: only love can hurt like this - Paloma Faith


End file.
